Sunday, May 18, 2008

Personal Development: Self Confidence

HOW TO BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE

There will be a point of time when we are at new lows; be it a hurtful relationship breakoff, rebutted by your superior, poor work performances or not meeting your personal goals. Certainly we do not want to seep into depression.

We could talk to friends and seek advices from our peers. Ultimately the turnaround depends on your own willpower. Country singer Mary Chapin in Carpenter has a line of her songs that goes: "Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug." When I have suddenly lost my confidence, I feel more like the bug than the windshield.

When this happens, it is easy to replay the situation over and over again, hoping for a different ending. This usually only makes me feel worse. What I really need is something to remind me that being the "bug" is only temporary state.

Therefore, I always think I am not alone here. All of us need confidence boosters at some time in our lives. Thats why I have 4 quick tips to boost confidence:

1) Remember a time when you were confident

Write down a past experience that gave you confidence. Think about why this experience made you feel confident. Who was involved? What happened? What did you do? Be as detailed about this experience as you can so that it is vivid in our mind.

Refer to this experience to remind you that you have been confident before and will be again!

2) Make a success album

Use a 3x5 card to write down things you have been successful at in the past. In this case, success is anything you have done that has made you proud of yourself. It may be cleaning out your closets or bringing in a big account for work. Put the cards in a photo album. When your confidence is low, read the cards in your album to remind you that you have been successful in the past.

3) Affirm your confidence

Leave written affirmations on sticky notes in places where you will see them regularly. The notes can contain action affirmations such as "You can do it" or a favourite confidence-building quote.

4) Let your answering machine or any communication tool to pick up your confidence

Ask friends to call your answering machine or any communication tool to leave positive comments about your strengths, talents and what makes you special to them. When things are not going well, listen to these comments to remind yourself that there are people who believe you are talented and very special.

Food for thought:

In most circumstances, the notion of Asians upbringing do not advocate praises for work done but criticism let flying off when situation worsens. This will dampen confidence level. We need appreciation, people around us to know that we have done our best and put in our best effort. Everyone likes to feel loved and be special in a certain manner. A pity we do not always hear such sincered, positive comments. We have to fine-tune to the societal norms to gel with expectations. Clearly as an individual, we must know that we ARE unique and great in OUR own attributes.

Conclusion:

Use these ideas to recharge your confidence. They are simple to do and useful to anyone who experience a sudden loss of confidence and needs a confidence boost. There are definetely more books for insipration. Whats the most powerful ideology if you are to ask me?

YOU Yourself, Yes, I mean you. You could change your aspect of life by thinking positively, foresee positive prospect & knowing you are special - to be the once confident person you are, if not better.

-------> You will want to be the windshield and not the bug, aren't you?

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